


Bills, Bills, Bills

by Threshie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Puns, Bees, Birds, Castiel Likes Trivia, Castiel in the Bunker, Coffee, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mornings, Podfic Welcome, Sam and Cas are nerds, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Creations Challenge, Wild West folklore, but not the birds and the bees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 22:39:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Threshie/pseuds/Threshie
Summary: Sam wants coffee. Cas wants to talk about hummingbirds. Dean wants to know what's up with all of the puns about bills.





	Bills, Bills, Bills

As often was the case with Castiel, the conversation started with bees.

“Guess what, Sam?” He ambushed the hunter at the coffee pot, knowing Sam would never leave before getting a cup. Sam didn’t really mind Cas talking his ear off about whatever obscure thing he was reading about lately. It was cute to see him so excited. If it was about bees, though, he was pretty sure he already knew everything by now. Cas really, _really_ liked bees.

“What, Cas?” Sam barely covered his mouth in time before a huge yawn overtook him. He needed coffee before having an actual conversation. Cas looked so intent, though, his blue eyes sparkling like he had a secret to tell, that Sam couldn’t ruin it. He mustered a smile. “Is it about bees?”

The angel looked almost shy at that comment, and shook his head. 

“It’s, uh…it’s bee adjacent.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, running his fingers through his mussed hair. 

“Okay, now I’m definitely curious.”

Cas’s eyes lit up again. 

“There is a kind of hummingbird the size of a bumblebee. They’re only 2 inches from tail to bill.”

Bill? Sam’s sleepy mind was now conjuring up the image of a hummingbird with a duck bill.

“Uhhh…”

“That’s this small, Sam.” Cas held up his thumb and finger to demonstrate, and the hummingbird did indeed look small as Sam imagined it there, but…well, like the duck bill would be heavy, and make it nose-dive, too.

“Sounds…cute?” Sam managed. “Sorry, did you say it has a _bill_?”

Castiel promptly leveled that squinting look at him like he’d said something perplexing. 

“Yes, Sam. Birds have bills.”

“Hummingbirds usually have _beaks_ ,” Sam clarified, glancing down at the coffee pot. Mercifully, it was half full of dark roasty caffeine. He was tempted to grab a cup before it was finished dripping through, but it was almost done…and Cas was tugging at his pajama shirt sleeve to get his attention, anyway.

Blinking, Sam turned back to him to find the angel’s smartphone held up for him to see.

“It does, Sam.”

The image on the screen showed a very tiny, brilliantly-colored hummingbird. The beak didn’t look oversized or anything like a duck bill — in fact, it was a little smaller and shorter than a normal hummingbird’s, even.

“Cas, that’s a beak,” he informed the angel tiredly, yawning again. “Bills are…like…big round beaks, like duck bills.”

“Or like on the duck-billed platypus,” Cas agreed patiently. The coffee maker uttered a burbling noise that Sam recognized as “ding, I’m done!” Thank Chuck.

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled, pulling two mugs from the cabinet. Cas was already holding the coffee pot when he turned back around, though. Blinking, the hunter sat the mugs on the counter and watched as Cas poured them both coffee. “You’d never hear anybody say ‘duck-beaked platypus’, though.”

“Ornithologists probably would,” Cas said mildly, placing the carafe back where it belonged. “According to all modern sources I’ve seen, bills and beaks are exactly the same thing.” Sam smiled at him as they headed over to the little kitchen table and sat side by side.

“Okay, I’ll defer to your expertise. It’s the same thing on birds,” he agreed, sipping his coffee. Ah, bliss. “Still sounds funny. Imagine if you switched any other kind of bills for beaks, though.”

Cas sat up in his seat, placing his coffee on the table. 

“Tax reform beaks,” he deadpanned. Sam couldn’t help a chuckle at that.

“Twenty dollar beaks,” he replied, sipping his coffee again. Cas’s lips curved into a subtle little smile. It was such a warm expression. He only seemed to smile like that at Sam.

“Beak me later,” Sam teased, winking. Cas snapped right back to the “processing, please wait” squint at that, even tilting his head this time.

“That—” 

“It’s way too early for ‘that’,” Dean grumbled, startling both of them. Sam turned on his chair to find his brother over by the coffee pouring himself a cup, the Dead Guy Robe slung on over his boxers and T-shirt.

“Morning, Dean,” Sam said, sipping his coffee again. He shot Cas a ‘watch this’ look and added casually, “We need to pay the internet beak today.”

“Right, gotta do that.” Dean sat across from them at the table, toasting them with his mug.

Cas toasted back solemnly.

“Dean, tell Sam what you told me about Pecos Beak.” 

It was Dean’s turn to sit there and squint silently. Sam could see the exact moment when he finally realized that Sam hadn’t said ‘internet bill’ a minute ago. He must have actually not noticed before.

Ignoring his reaction, Castiel turned to Sam, who was trying to keep a straight face. “Dean says he could lasso tornadoes. With a snake. And ride cougars. And eat dynamite.”

“Sounds like a talented guy,” Sam murmured, smirking. Cas leaned in, locking eyes with him.

“ _Very_ talented.”

“...Okie dokie.” Dean hopped out of his seat, picking up his coffee. “I’m just gonna go pay the internet ‘beak’ before I forget.” 

Sam chuckled and leaned to give his angel a victory kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my little fic! This was written for the Sastiel Creations Challenge. I was given the theme 'daily life', and the prompt 'bills', and went the punny route. Comments and kudos always appreciated! ♥


End file.
